Friendship
Dedicated
to Bill Bream
He was a gentleman but with a bawdy sense of humor. He apologized for the first off-color joke he
sent to me, saying he was out of line and hoped I wasn’t. I responded with a huge “LOL” and a note that
explained I have five sons, no daughters.
My sense of humor has been warped by them. The joke was incredibly funny and not so off
color as to offend. And so back and
forth it went. Not every day, but a few
times a week I would find something in my e-mail’s inbox from him. A joke, information to pass along to John
about the situation with various crops in the central valley of California (we
provide ag-specific weather reports to farmers and agribusiness in the San
Joaquin Valley, a place where much of the food you eat is grown and produced),
rainfall amounts at his location during the few times it rains, wind speed when
it’s actually a bit windy…lots of information that we deemed invaluable…and
political information. Congress is in
the process of appropriating water that was granted to farmers decades
ago. Congress has already done this to
farmers on the west side of the valley, a region that is now not much more than
a dust bowl. Millions-perhaps billions-
of dollars in farmland now lies fallow.
Anyway, this client became an invaluable source of
information while becoming a beloved friend.
He shared his pride in his wife.
On Facebook, he would post pictures of projects his wife had
completed. She’s an amazingly creative
woman. You name it, she can do it. Quilting, stamping, gardening, sewing…I don’t
think there’s anything she can’t do.
Pictures were posted of a tea party setting she created in their
garden. I wish I could have
attended. It was a true garden party, a shabby
chic setting requiring the finest in dresses and beautiful sun hats or
parasols. I’m sure the food was
amazing. This couple grows oranges and I
would bet oranges played a role in the delicacies whipped up by this amazing
woman. Our friend’s pride in her made
him even more special to me. He wasn’t
afraid to share his love of this incredible woman.
On the other end of the scale, his wife wasn’t afraid…and
likely still is not afraid… to share her love of this man. She would post pictures of projects he took
on for her. Building a garden house in
just her style, gardening with her, and many other types of creations designed
to please her. She quite obviously
cherishes his work as they are physical testimonies of his love for her. I can understand this clearly as my husband
also cherishes me and loves me deeply. I
recognized in my friend’s words, pictures, and communication his love for his
wife. Oh, I’m sure they had their
problems from time to time, but love won out over disagreements.
So, no, our friendship was not an online romance, just a
close friendship based on common interests.
And jokes. I looked forward to
opening my email in the morning to see what he had sent. It always generated a laugh from both me and
from hubby, something that was occasionally hard to do because of our
illnesses. This man knew that and I
truly believe he deliberately set out to gain at least a chuckle from us, or a
groan from a bad pun. And he had a
million of them. I’m sure his family
benefited from his sense of humor. I
knew we did.
Maybe it’s difficult to understand why I grieve so at the
passing of this man. We had never shaken
hands, had a friendly hug of greeting, shared a meal, or just kicked back in
that gorgeous garden and chatted. Never
looked eye to eye while telling a story.
Yet, I grieve at his passing. The
morning of the day he died he sent an email with the rain total at his
location. I remember clearly that it was
.36 (that’s a gullywasher by Tulare County standards) and that it was in red
print. Just that morning he was alive
and, to my knowledge, well. Then he was
gone.
Friendships don’t require seeing one another face to
face. This gentleman is not the only
friend I have who I’ve never actually met.
I have a bunch of Facebook friends and blog friends I’ve never met, yet
I treasure their friendship, too. I know
some of them would be there in a heartbeat if I needed something. I believe they know I’ve got their back,
too. Then there are the friends made
over the years with whom I’ve been able to reconnect courtesy of Facebook. They’re scattered far and wide, and we don’t
communicate every day, but I know they think about me just as I think about
them. I pray for them and know they do
for me. They cheer me on, cheer me up,
and cheer for me when something goes well.
They have words of support and love when something has gone wrong in my
life. I cherish their friendships, as
well.
But I will say this one gentleman holds a special place in
my heart. I can’t explain it. Something about his spirit touched mine. He’s been on my mind a great deal since his
passing. A few days ago I said yet
another little prayer for him, and for myself.
I heard something at the window and looked up. A finch of a type I’ve never seen
before sat on the window ledge looking directly at me. We stared at one another for quite a bit…a
good two or three minutes…and I smiled.
This little bird flew off. I don’t
believe in coincidence. And I do know of
Bill’s love of the natural world. Was
this a message to me, to not worry or grieve, that he truly has wings with
which to fly? I’m certain of it. Friendships can flourish across miles. And death doesn’t mean the end, just a change
as we communicate spirit to spirit. My
dad still sends me baseballs. Oh, I don’t
expect my friend to show up at my window all the time, or even any more at
all. It’s enough for me that I believe
he did once, once to show that he treasured our friendship, too.
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